I've never had an acting class in my life. I never even did a high school play. You either have a certain presence that comes across on the screen or you don't. Before Norris became a star Bruce Lee used him as a foil. Before Norris got his big break, he rubbed elbows with the incomparable Bruce Lee. Lee appeared at a martial arts competition in that Norris wound up winning. The two hit it off and trained together in Los Angeles.
However, when producers saw that Norris and Lee looked similar in size, they asked Norris to pack on some pounds. Norris recalls that the producer said "'Well can you put on 20 pounds? But I was training every day so I was burning the weight right back off again.
I had to literally stop training and just eat. And then of course you know it wasn't muscle it was more fat than it was muscle. So I went up to about for that fight scene. That's why you didn't see me do any jumping kicks.
I couldn't get off the ground. For Expendables 2 Stallone asked Norris to bring a "famous Norris fact. After enrolling in an acting school via the G.
I said 'this isn't going to work. And of course, the critics crucified me because my acting was so bad. It just doesn't happen. Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapons consisting of two pieces of wood connected by a chain were called "Nun Barrys".
No one ever did find out what happened to Barry. If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.
There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist, and Chuck Norris finds it delicious. Satan went down to the crossroads and sold his soul to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris thought it was too salty. Pinatas were made in an attempt to get Chuck Norris to stop kicking the people of Mexico. Sadly, all this has resulted in is Chuck Norris looking for candy after he roundhouse kicks someone.
Chuck Norris is a man of few words. Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face. Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul. Chuck Norris can breathe in and out at the same time. Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain. Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion. When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part. Chuck Norris is starring in the sequel to "Four Weddings and a Funeral".
It's called "Four Funerals and a Funeral". If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank. By phone. Chuck Norris can text from a pay phone. Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink. Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris once delivered a roundhouse kick to the eye Today this is known as widely scattered showers.
The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question - just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard. Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear condoms because there is no protection against Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn't find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour and a half someone constructed a bar around him. He ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Chuck Norris yelled over the roar of the flames, "always leave things the way you found 'em! Chuck Norris --Mon, 08 Oct reply. Chuck Norris is so tough that even at the age he is and like many others his age Chuck Norris is so tough that when he has diarrhea California issues a mud slide emergency.
Chuck Norris once had a "who has more testicles" contest with Lance Armstrong. Chuck Norris won by five. Chuck Norris is so tough, he laughs when 42, people a year die because they don't have health insurance. Chuck Norris doesn't have a 'Control' button on his keyboard because he's always in control. Chuck Norris does not teabag people, he potato sacks them.
Chuck Norris is so tough that when he was in school, he made sentences diagram themselves. Chuck norris is so tough when he does press ups he actually pushes the earth down. The program, which Norris launched in , brings free martial arts classes to public schools in Texas. Kickstart Kids focuses on character development as well as martial arts, equipping kids with emotional and mental life skills that will help them throughout their lives.
Since its inception, Kickstart Kids has helped over 95, students, with 9, more currently enrolled. A young Norris and Lee. They were good friends in real life!
They coordinated the scene on the spot, and the result is iconic! Joe Lewis and Ed Parker also had bit parts, and Lee was the stunt coordinator. But that hardly counts as a break-through although he did apparently punt Dean Martin airborne during one take!
Again, Norris played a villain, although this time with a much larger role. He got his first leads as the hero in the film Breaker! Some of his famous non-martial arts co-stars include:. Chuck Norris would never be so predictable!
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